Does this sound like you?
- “I had a busy and stressful day and deserve a treat.”
- “Now that I’ve lost some weight, I can reward myself with that dessert.”
- “I can fit this into my calories/points if I don’t eat dinner.”
- “My diet is broken, I might as well go all out – I’ll start again on Monday!”
As we’ve touched on in the food psychology series, attaching moral values to food and eating behaviours can be damaging. That means even something as seemingly harmless as using food as reward or punishment early on can lead to a lifetime of health problems.
In fact, a 2003 study found that adults with binge eating and dietary restraint behaviours were more likely to have had parents who used food to control behaviour in childhood.
But it’s never too late to stop using food as rewards – here are five steps I recommend as a consultant food addiction psychologist.
True change comes from taking off the mask that you wear every day and being honest with yourself. Face your true self, without the mask.
1. Acknowledge.
If you don’t acknowledge that you may be using food negatively, then you can’t change anything. Acknowledge the issue for what it is and start to truly understand it.
It does not define you and it is not a weakness! It’s an issue that can be changed, if you want to change it. It has a life of its own – map out its timeline! How has it developed to become what it is now?
2. Take responsibility.
For many of you, this issue may have originated in your childhood or adolescent years. But you are no longer that child or teenager!
As an adult, you now have the choice of what parts of your childhood you hold on to. And what to let go of. This will allow you the space and opportunity to create new healthy values, beliefs and behaviours.
3.Learn to feel.
If you do use food to reward yourself and cope with unwanted emotions, you’ll find this to be the most confronting and anxiety-provoking step. This is the number one factor that’s maintaining your dependence on food!
Have the courage to feel your emotions and understand them so you can develop healthy self-soothing techniques. You may need to seek the help of a trained professional and remember, this is not a weakness! This is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
4. Accept yourself.
Accepting yourself where you are, right now – flaws, vulnerabilities and all – will help you to change the things that you have been struggling with. Acceptance is the start of recreating your life. It brings with it a sense of calm, a readiness to actively move forward, emotional and psychological stability, and hope.
5. Re-creation.
Invest time and money in freeing yourself from the past to recreate a future filled with healing, rather than the latest fad diet or quick fix.
You might find it beneficial to seek professional support from someone who specialises in the area of disordered eating and weight issues. They can work with you, arming you with the tools to create a happier and healthier future.
If this has brought up any issues for you, contact the Butterfly Foundation‘s National Support line and online service on 1800 ED HOPE (1800 33 4673) or at support@thebutterflyfoundation.org.au.
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