While childhood experiences of food might seem as innocent as enjoying cake at a friend’s birthday party or hiding peas under the table, it’s actually during those formative years that our relationship with food can be shaped for life.
“Childhood memories are often centred around food,” says Kellee Waters, psychologist and food addiction expert. “As you grow up, your brain chemistry imprints onto these foods and, unconsciously, the memories are triggered. You don’t fully understand why, but these foods make you feel good.”
While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the occasional treat, it’s when we develop unhealthy attachments or aversions to food that these formative experiences really count. In this instalment of our food psychology series, Kellee shares her advice for helping kids build a healthy relationship with food.
Bin the bargain.
Rewarding with food is commonplace – many of us have memories of being given lollipops at the doctors’. But using food rewards as a constant bargaining chip is damaging, says Kellee.
“It is important not to use food as a reward or comfort as this can start the negative cycles of disordered eating in adulthood. It can lead to comfort eating and binge responses to “reward” foods.”
Indeed, a study of 122 people found those who were rewarded or punished with food as children were more likely to have eating issues as adults.
People who were rewarded with food as children were more likely to have eating issues.
Body language.
The language around food (and our bodies) can seriously impact the way kids eat. Categorising food as good or bad distracts from food’s true purpose as nutrition and nourishment.
On the other hand, research shows that adolescents whose parents talk to them about the health aspects of food, rather than weight, are less likely to enter the restrict-binge eating cycle.
“Don’t use words like ‘good’, ‘bad’, ‘dieting’ or ‘guilty’,” Kellee recommends. “Instead, talk about foods that will give you energy to run around, play and grow, or foods that will give your brain power to think and learn.”
Don’t use words like good or bad – talk about foods that will give you energy, or give your brain power.
Monkey see, monkey do.
Actions also speak louder than words. One psychology paper concluded that positive parental role modelling may be more effective than trying to control the child’s diet.
Kellee agrees: “Often parents can provide conflicting messages about food, eating and health. For example, a parent might skip breakfast but tells their child that they MUST eat breakfast. Parents need to be good role models first.”
This includes parental self-talk, too. A study of 5331 girls and 3881 boys observed that adolescent dieting is associated with their mothers’ desire to diet and lose weight – so it’s very important for adults also to heal their relationships with food.
Adolescent dieting is associated with their mothers’ desire to diet and lose weight.
What’s cooking?
One of the best ways to help children build a positive relationship with food is in the kitchen. There, you can make food an exciting and educational experience, as well as passing down healthy cooking skills that children can take with them for life.
“Cooking is becoming a lost skill,” says Kellee. “The earlier a child is introduced to cooking, the better. Role modelling is key. Remember, if you say that you hate cooking and that it is a chore, then your child will see it this way too.”
Plus, a major upside it that it gets kids eating real food! Junk foods are engineered to have just the right amount of sugar, salt and fat to get you addicted – the less kids eat of these, the better.
Missed the rest of our food psychology series? Check out our previous articles here.
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